fact: i am here and not there

I thought a lot about my dream house yesterday. Most girls do. Every detail matters, so I like to find pictures with bits and pieces of what I like. Here's some of what I found yesterday.

Doors -



A house is a means of expression, and without a house... well, I fail to express. I'm sure most of you can relate to the feeling of having "so much more to give." It's finding the outlet for that giving of yourself that is difficult. So I write music and tutor and blog and work and study... passing the time, enjoying the time, aware of time. But in simply thinking of my dream house I suddenly have more motivation to get there on my own... because, let's face it, I might just have to. That motivation is welcome, and the idea of having to do it on my own almost lights a fire under my butt in a way that I haven't experienced before. When you take "wife and mother" out of the equation, all that is left is "bread winner." I never expected to be in this position; it wasn't an innate desire of mine to succeed in a profession. So I graduate this year, about 3 years late, and instead of thinking "how will I support a family if something happens to my husband" or "what will my potential husband think of my career choice," I'm thinking about how I'm the man in my life. Sounds strange, but it's true. It's just me in this part of my life. That's a fact, and facts are usually the only thing that motivate me.

Don't worry, house. I'm coming.