time to pretend

i was emailed this certificate today. i'm thinking about framing it or at least printing it out to put on the fridge. i'm not sure what else they might intend for me to do with it. maybe feel proud?

they invited an alumnus of the program to come talk to us. aside from the free pistachios, this was my favorite part. listening to her tell her story, i realized that teaching literacy for adults is all about second chances. a lot of times i get caught up thinking i want to make a difference on the front-lines somehow... but a lot of people fall through the cracks. a lot of people don't do well their first time around for whatever reason. and a lot of people are hiding that fact, living with the burden of secrecy. "you may think the people coming here for help are stupid," the alumnus said. "but that couldn't be further from the truth. they made it this far, didn't they? they have jobs and friends and a life... and they can't even read. at a restaurant they say, 'mmm, that sounds good. i'll have what she's having,' or 'i forgot my glasses. could you read that?' and not a soul knows what they can't do."

it makes me think about times when i had no idea what was going on... or about all the things that i can't do.

the alumnus was proud of what she had accomplished. she even wrote a poem that someone told her was "quite good." nobody had ever told her anything she'd done was good... so she had stopped trying. shame on her teachers. shame on her friends.

i guess i could be proud that i sat through 4 hours of training on a saturday morning so that i can help someone with their second chance, but i honestly feel like i did when i was a missionary... the people i'm teaching are more brave than i.

i still pretend to understand the things i don't.