i was in a coworker's dream last night. apparently i had shaved my head "to try something new." can he possibly be feeling my minor anxiety as of late? is it eeking into his being and puppeting the characters of his dreams, making them do crazy things?
a friend told me a story tonight about a man who suffered from anxiety attacks. he had one while driving home with his wife, and he pulled over to get out and walk it off. he wasn't able to shake it, so the wife called 911. the officers, unable to get him to calm down, tasered him. they claimed that they were worried he might walk onto the freeway and get hurt. well, the man died of a heart attack instead. i guess that final jolt pushed him over the edge.
i watched the bachelor earlier this evening, and he and one of the women bungee jumped off a bridge... literally over the edge. i freaked out just thinking about the possibility of maybe someday being asked to consider doing that hypothetically. i mean, heck. i freak out on chairlifts.
when i was little, i used to get tummy aches so badly that i would curl in a ball and writhe in pain. my mom thinks that they were from anxiety or stress. what could a kid be stressed about? well, i'm emilie. i find ways. or maybe the ways find me.
O Anxiety! O Anxiety!
Thy effects are so unchanging;
O Anxiety! O Anxiety!
Thy effects are so unchanging;
Not only lurking when summer's here,
But also when 'tis cold and drear.
O Anxiety! O Anxiety!
Thy effects are so unchanging!
silliness aside, i'm not going to shave my head... even metaphorically. my anxiety level is healthy. i know because i still laugh.
and on a practical note, i'll let you in on my trick to purging myself of anxiety - service. hello, left field! or is it? maybe you saw that coming. anyway, i experienced the dissipation of anxiety tonight while tutoring hector. his birthday is tomorrow, and he had no plans. sad. so i got a few friends to take hector to dinner with me tomorrow. he has plans now. in the act of reading with him and then later planning the birthday dinner, i felt jolly. jolly, i tell you!
options:
a) shave my head
b) get tasered
c) bungee jump
d) do service
and i lived happily ever after... as in a dream with a shaved head and a new beginning... but without the shaved head.
1.19.2010
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2 comments:
um, how come i didn't know about these stomach pains as a kid?
I wonder if they're genetic. I would get up in the middle of the night and lay on the floor in a ball in too much pain to cry or move. My dad would come sit with me until I could fall back asleep.
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